Don't be embarrassed. We aren't born with this knowledge. And I don't recall taking a "trailering and boat launching" class back when I was in elementary school.

But you saw your neighbors whipping around the lake on their ski boat last summer, or maybe you want access to the best fishing hole in the bay. Regardless, knowledge notwithstanding, you went ahead and made the purchase, and your new fiberglass beauty is sitting on a trailer in your driveway.

Now what do you do?

Well, fear not, gentle reader. You may know even less about launching fishing boats than you do about launching space shuttles, but Wayne Stacey knows a heckuva a lot about the former. (If you need to know about the latter, you're reading the wrong magazine.)

Stacey was a Lt. Commander in the United States Coast Guard. After 30 years of service, he retired, then rejoined the USCG as a civilian employee. He's a Boating Education Specialist with the national Office of Boating Safety. If anyone can get your sleek craft safely from the driveway to the lake's surface, it's him.

Stacey sums up his approach with the coast guard phrase, "Safe boating is no accident." A good boat outing is the result of preparation, common sense, and knowing the steps to ensure you've got both of those covered.

The former USCG officer agreed to detail those steps to me in a phone interview, in hopes that the worst potential disasters to befall you when you take out your boat is that you a.) fail to haul your sorry carcass out of the water on your new skis - me, in my one, sad attempt at water-skiing - or b.) only catch a four-pound, water-logged work boot on the end of your fishing line.

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According to Stacey, prepping your trailer for transit is a lot easier if you left your trailer in good condition at the end of the previous season.

• "Preventative maintenance" is a great way to make sure you won't find your trip cancelled before it's even begun. Some of the things you might want to consider doing when you put away your trailer/boat at the end of the season include:
  
• Jack up the trailer so the tires aren't touching the ground.
  
• Remove and pack the bearings with grease.
  
• Lubricate the moving parts of the trailer - including the roller, winch and, if it has one, winch motor.
  
• If the trailer has been used in salt water, rinse it thoroughly with fresh water and allow it to completely dry to avoid corrosion.
  
• Ensure that wiring, plugs and plug outlets are protected from the elements.
  
• Remove the lights and lamps to avoid corrosion.
  

If you've enacted some or all of these measures, you're less likely to encounter a malfunction when you're attaching your trailer to your tow vehicle.

Now the new season has arrived, and you're eager to get the show (boat) on the road. Here are the things to consider before you pull onto the street:

• Make sure your vehicle is rated to pull the combined weight of your trailer and boat. Check your owner's manuals to make sure. You may find yourself in trouble with the sheriff if the cause of an accident was a Honda Civic pulling an eight-ton yacht.
  
• Your hitch must be rated for the tongue weight of your trailer when it's fully loaded, and the trailer receiver must be the same size as the ball. Make sure the trailer is securely locked onto the ball.
  
• Most states require your trailer to have brakes if the combined trailer/ boat load exceeds a certain weight (for some states, it's 3,000 pounds, while for others it's as high as 4,000 pounds). Or be safe and take the advice of the American Boat and Yacht Council, and have brakes on your trailer if the load exceeds 1,500 pounds.
  
• The safety chains are key. They must be crossed, forming an X, running from the trailer to your hitch (cross under, not over). In addition to keeping your car and trailer connected, they form a cradle, preventing the tongue from falling onto the road, digging in, and causing a massive, cartwheeling car accident (have I stressed the importance of crossing the chains enough?).
  
• Check the trailer's tires. Stacey says a trailer tire blowout can have "catastrophic" consequences.
  
• Ensure that you've hooked up the wiring (for example, turn signals and brake lights) correctly by testing them before you pull out of the driveway.
  
• Make sure all antennas are down - wouldn't want one of those to catch a power line.
  
• Ensure that the motor is up high enough to prevent hitting bumps on the road.
  
• Retract your trailer's dolly wheel before you move.
  
• Double-check that your boat is safely secured to the trailer, and that the load is centered and balanced on the trailer. All of this prep amounts to nothing if your boat separates from the trailer as you swing though a curve on the interstate.
  

Traveling

You're underway. The kids will start bickering in T-minus 30 minutes. That's okay, though - a great day on the water beckons.

But only if you make it there safely. Here's how:

• States set maximum speeds for vehicles traveling with a trailer. They also have maximum load width, length and height parameters.
  
• Some states require the towing vehicle to have external side mirrors.
  
• Allow yourself extra stopping time. "Remember that you've got a lot of weight behind you," warns Stacey.
  
• Stacey also recommends that you stop periodically to check that everything is still in order. Is the boat still tied to the trailer securely? Also, check the temperature of the trailer wheel bearings (they're behind the lugs on the wheel hub) with the back of your hand. If they're excessively hot, they may not have enough lubrication. Also check your tires for low pressure, cracking, or excessive heat.
  
• Remember that when backing a trailer, turn your wheel in the opposite direction of the way you want the trailer to go.
  

Launching

Believe it or not, there are worse things than having your boat sink the minute you put it in the water - you could have your trailer and car sink along with it. So, take these common sense steps to ensure that your boat gets launched safely:

• First, don't occupy the boat ramp until you're ready to launch. Other people use the ramp, too.
  
• Don't even think about trying to launch your boat until you've given the bearings in your trailer's wheels time to cool a little (immediate contact with cold water could crack them). Use the interim to go through your launch checklist.
  
• Put the boat plug in, and take the straps securing the boat to the trailer off. If you don't do the former, your boat will sink, and if you don't do the latter, your trailer will float.
  
• Make sure the engine is tilted up, and don't use the engine in reverse to remove the boat from the trailer - you may scrape the prop in shallow water, and the water intakes which cool the engine may be above the water line, which could lead to your engine overheating.
  
• Inspect the ramp before you back down it. Look for seaweed - slippery - and also note where the ramp's sill is located. If the trailer tires drop over the lip of the sill, you'll have a heck of a time getting the trailer back up onto the ramp.
  
• Have chocks and place them behind the rear wheels of your tow vehicle when you are finally down the ramp and in place to launch.
  
• Speaking of rear wheels, your tow vehicle's rear tires should be clear of the water, and your exhaust pipe should absolutely be clear of the water. If your exhaust pipe submerges, the engine may die, and your vehicle might go for a swim with you in it. Stacey says this has happened "on many occasions." (On the plus side, at least you'll know that your fellow mariners are enjoying a laugh at your expense.)
  
• Always have a spotter assisting you as you back up. The spotter should also be holding a line that's attached to the boat. Otherwise, the only thing going on an outing will be your pilot-less pleasure craft.
  
• After the boat is launched, but before you drive your vehicle and trailer to the designated parking area, ensure that the winch cable is properly secured.
  

The process at the end of the day is pretty much just the reverse, with a few reminders:

• Know when it's your turn to use the ramp. Tempers can flare when people want to get home and you butt in line.
  
• Make sure the boat is evenly placed and centered on the trailer when you load it.
  
• Stand to the side of the winch. If the cable breaks, it will snap straight towards the winch and you don't want to be in the way.
  
• Make sure the outboard motor or the outdrive of your inboard- outboard is raised.
  
• Once you are clear of the ramp, remove your boat plug and secure the boat to the trailer.
  

And that's it! Why, there can't be more than thirty-odd very important things to remember (did I mention sunscreen?). Just to be safe, keep a copy of this list handy. And for further information, check out www.uscgboating.org.

Robert Newsome is the Manager of Engineering Standards at the National Marine Manufacturers Association. His organization has put together a "trailer checklist" and he ran me through it over the phone from NMMA's headquarters in Chicago:

1. Make sure the coupler, hitch, and hitch ball are of the same size.
   
2. Coupler and safety chains safely secured.
   
3. All fasteners are properly tightened.
   
4. The boat is securely tied down to the trailer (the winch line is not a tie down).
   
5. The wheel lug nuts are tightened.
   
6. The wheel bearings are properly adjusted and maintained.
   
7. The load is within the maximum load carrying capacity.
   
8. The tires are properly inflated.
   
9. Ensure trailer lighting is working properly.
   
10. Trailer brakes are properly adjusted and working.
    

He also wants to remind owners of ski boats with water ballast systems to drain the onboard tanks before loading the boat onto a trailer - those reservoirs can hold hundreds, even thousands of pounds of water. Last, but not least, always read your owner's manuals or owner's information supplements.

By Eric Sparling