It is what it is. That simple phrase that has been getting a lot of use lately. I like it. I like it because it reminds me that I can't go back and change things, nor can I manipulate the future by worrying, but things as they are right now I can rest in. It seems to be less about me and more about a higher power this way. I don't have to control everything, I don't have to be in pursuit of perfection. It, whatever it is, isn't perfect, it simply is.

Several things got me thinking about this phrase. The approaching lake freeze was one of them. I'm not much for cold so it hinders my excitement for this season; the cold winds, the frozen surface of my beloved water, the slow tedious task of bundling up to get outside, this all adds to my trepidation. The enthusiasm of so many others is quite contagious though. This issue of Lakestyle in particular is filled with stories of people who have not only embraced winter, but truly can't wait for it. Their excitement makes me want to try it all, to get out there, to forget about the cold and focus on the moment at hand. I can't defrost the lake, I can't stop the cold winds from howling, winter is what it is. Maybe I can embrace it instead, try my hand on a hockey stick or at least lace up some skates.

I know so many of the people in this issue personally that I can really speak to their enthusiasm for life and their ability to make the most of what is. Their lives are not without problems, their days are not without work, and their hearts are not untouched by pain, but they have learned to find joy in each day, to find joy in each relationship, and even to find joy on what sometimes appears to be a frozen tundra, otherwise known as a "pond hockey rink." They have learned to make the most of things. Because life just is, and sometimes that isn't good or bad. If you accept it and embrace it you can find joy in it.

Recently I heard a public speaker talking about this phrase as well. He was speaking on parenting and how society has changed the definition of parenting over the last few decades. We parents are not embracing what is, but instead we are driving our kids to what can be. I love to dream and I long for my children's dreams to come true, but I recognized what this person was saying is very important. I believe we are driving our children to run a marathon we call life, but to do it at a sprinter's pace. The speaker's phrase was, "We are raising human doings, not human beings." His point being that we are extremely focused on achievement, accolades, and performance rather than on what is.

It is no longer enough to go out in the field and play ball. Now we have to sign up for a team, sign up for clinics, hope for the best coach and a team full of super athletes. It is not enough to play a game at night with the family, now we have to be the all-star in the chess club. It is not enough to work hard at school, now you have to excel in every area of your life to get into the college of your choice. It is not enough to open doors, make a few phone calls, and smile at others, we have to dream up new programs and initiatives on how to save the world. Nothing is enough, because we are trying to be human doings and have forgotten how to be human beings.

At the end of the day, what is important? What do we wish for our children, for ourselves and for others? Is it enough to just be? Is it enough to just enjoy the person as they are and enjoy the moment for what it is? I hope so. I hope that I am able to convince my family that I love them just as they are, they needn't be super athletes, or academic all stars or a CEO of a large corporation. I love them because they are who they are right at this moment.

As for winter, I'll try to embrace what is cold and blustery, and notice it is also many other things. It is a time for skiing, skating, and snowball fights. It is a time for warm cozy fires, thick blankets, and mittens. And ice fishing... I don't know what that is! Give me time. I can't change the season so I might as well consider how I want to live with it. It is what it is.

By Nancy Henke